Thursday, May 1, 2014

Divorce

I'm not sure how to write this.

Matt and I are getting divorced.

I've learned that everyone wants to know the details of what has happened. Some want to know because they love us. Some want to know just because they like analyzing death certificates. Some want to know because the implications for their own lives and marriages are shaken by the news.

But here is what I know.

I know that what has transpired between us is private. We have been married almost 13 years. We have a daughter together. We will always care for each other, and be in each others' lives. We are friendly right now and in sync with what we want for our sweet Jane. This is a peaceful, uncontested divorce.

Not telling the details has been hard, because it is every human's knee jerk reaction to defend themselves to public opinion. Some think I don't love God anymore because I'm getting divorced. Some think that because this is so hard to understand, and I'm private about the details, that I've lost my mind. I've been asked if I'm taking my medication. I think we all know that antidepressants don't cause divorce. If anything they kept us married longer.

Only one person from church has called me. That has been hard, but I accept it.

But the reason I'm not telling the details of my side is because I still respect Matt. And I love my daughter. And telling the details, the nitty gritty sad parts, the angry parts, will only hurt them.

Matt and I would appreciate your prayers. This is hard, harder than anything we've ever done in our whole lives. We are determined to remain partners and good parents for Jane. We ask that you don't expect to read the death certificate of our divorce. We ask for privacy, and respect.

But most of all, we ask for prayers.