You know the part in the movie "What About Bob" where Bob has a melt down and starts yelling at Dr. Marvin (in public), "Gimme, gimme, gimme. I need, I need, I need..."
I'm pretty sure that's what I've been doing to God lately.
Don't get me wrong. He's a big God. He's capable of handling our true feelings. He's capable of handling our praise, our love, our doubt, our anger... and our needs.
But feeling whiny is not a good thing.
I left the house early this morning and pulled over beside this lake. I grew up on this street. I fed ducks and geese crust and learned to ride my bike here. I sat in my car and watched the sun come up over the water. I thought about my needs. I thought about whether or not God would answer me.
It's safe to say we all have a lot of needs. We need comfort, peace, healing, and safety. We need raises, shorter commutes, more time with our families. We need reliable cars, roofs that don't leak. We need hope, health, and love.
I plan to continue talking with God. I plan to continue to remind him of the things we need. But there seems to be a balance I have trouble walking. A balance between requesting things of God, and trusting him. A balance of asking, yet knowing His will, whatever that may be, is good.
So I will spend more time in the early morning just sitting. Sitting and watching the sun light up the water. Because it's in calm moments like this I'm reminded everything is going to be OK.
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.John 16:33