Rebecca: "Liz, I love it here. Coming to China is the best decision I ever made."
Me: "Good. I'm glad. But you have to come home eventually. I'm lonely."
Rebecca: "I know."
Me: "How are the classes going?"
Rebecca: "Great! I love teaching. Some of my students want to know what you are going to name the baby if it's a girl."
Me: "Well, we haven't decided..."
Rebecca: "They want you to know you can feel free to use their English names."
Me: "Like what?"
Rebecca: "Well, the three names they decided on were Echo, Starlight and Louise."
Me: "That's a heck of a lot of variety."
Rebecca: "I went on this trip down the Yangtze River. It was amazing, but I had a hard time getting pictures because the boat was crowded. I had to push a kid out of the way and hang off the end like one of those mermaid-mast-thingys."
Me: "Uh-huh. What's the deal with all the pictures you're sending me of a guards. Are you allowed to take their pictures?"
Rebecca: "Well, I just tell them they're handsome and they let me."
Me: "I see."
Rebecca: "Yeah, there were these ancient people called the Ba. They buried people in coffins hanging in cliffs..."
"...No one even knows how they got the bodies up there. And their civilization mysteriously disappeared for no reason."
Me: "Are you sure you didn't just watch that on the History channel?"
Rebecca, incensed: "I beg your pardon! I've got pictures as proof!"
Rebecca: "I'm totally safe. The people are so nice. And you should see the fisherman with their cute little matching outfits."
Me: "Becca, don't tell them you think their outfits are cute."
Rebecca: "OK. I love you! Gotta go!"