He sang about all the grand gestures he would make for his lady love and I found myself slurping a strawberry milkshake and pondering the situation.
"I'd catch a grenade for ya, I'd throw my hand on a blade for ya...."
In this culture of grand gestures, I find myself a bit skeptical. Women fantasize about men who do extraordinary things. We watch The Bachelor, where men whisk women off to exotic islands, propose with gigantic rings on cliffs overlooking the ocean and declare mind blowing eternal love. We immerse ourselves in fantasy books about sparkly vampires capable of superhuman feats and werewolves who burn hot and carry women like nap sacks through the woods.
But truthfully, women don't really need these things. Oh sure. We like giant diamond rings. We enjoy reading about cutie patootey teenage supernatural beings. But in the end, I think I speak for all of us when I say, we really just want a man willing to tie our shoes.
Let me explain.
He knelt down, pulled my leg out straight and tied my shoelace. Then he took my other shoe and put it on, tying those laces as well. As I gazed at the top of his head, I realized this was real romance. Women don't need other-worldly super heroes. We need men who will fill up our cars with gas and cook us dinner. We need someone who cares whether or not the taxes get paid, or the front yard needs mowing.
Who needs The Bachelor? Bruno can keep his stupid grenades. All I need is a man who considers it his job to tie his fat, pregnant wife's shoes.